Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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