i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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