She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
