yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
