I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Come see our sink grown plant.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize