I need to stop coming to work sober
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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