Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
