The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
