he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What a dumb baby whore.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
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It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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