How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
