Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
