my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
