you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
