did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
