I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So much rum. So many feels.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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