so that wasnt chicken after all
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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