I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
