margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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