pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
