Kiss
Puke
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
