Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
