So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
