had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
