I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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