Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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