this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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