How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
