Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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