Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize