I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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