It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
