In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
