someone threw a dead crab at me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
its not stalking. its research.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
