So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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