I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
