Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
