ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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