I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
pray to the hookup gods
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
