I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You made out with two different species that night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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