If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
