I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
