The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
