Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
