I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
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Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You left your phone here
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