when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
