..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just high enough for therapy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
