So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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