please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
