i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
