You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize