I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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