I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
