bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
