so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
