Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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