I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
