I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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