Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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