weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
