$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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