The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
