my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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